(Source: thisismoitoday, via pasteurlhere)

(via alexandergaslut)

No, it wasn’t because it was my ~first time seeing them and it ~~completed my life!~.

I’ve seen Panic! 7 times now, and I’ve never been so emotional during and after a show as I was last night.

First, I was emotional because they played old songs. Part of me wasn’t expecting that. I know they’re Panic!’s songs… but Panic! is hardly the same band these days. Then I got to thinking… Brendon and Ryan used to be best friends, since they were 16, maybe even earlier than that. Ryan wrote all those songs. What do you think is going though Brendon’s head as he has to sing these songs his ex-best friend (possibly his ex-lover….) wrote? It’s heartbreaking to me.

Then, seeing all the songs from Vices and Virtues performed live brought me to a new level. Seeing the songs performed gave me a different outlook on them. I thought less about the beat and more about what kinds of things had to happen to inspire these songs.

That Panic! has gone through a major loss, losing 50% of their band, and picked back up and carried on - I can’t even imagine how much strength that had to have taken. And the feelings that I felt last night? I can’t imagine how those feelings were doubled, tripled, quadrupled for Brendon and Spencer.

It took everything I had to not cry during the last song.

While most people who had solid friends all throughout high school may not understand where I’m coming from, I know there is an even bigger group of people who understand what I’m saying. Where as my friends could have blown me off or made my day a living hell, Panic! had always been there to pick up the pieces. They didn’t blow me off, they always had time for me. Where I didn’t have solid friends in high school, I added music. 

Last night, I felt like I was visiting an old friend, and only half that friend was there. But that remaining half worked so, so hard to keep going. 

The extraordinary effort resulted in an amazing outcome.