"How many times have people used a pen or paintbrush because they couldn’t pull the trigger?"
How Not to be Predatory: A Guide for Lesbian/Bi/Queer Women
- Don’t ask a girl out unless you have a minimum of 15 character references attesting to her homosexuality and unless she has “gay” tattooed on her forehead. Otherwise you are preying on a straight girl.
- Don’t flirt with a girl unless she initiates it by walking up to you and saying “hello I am gay.”
- Don’t attend gym class at school because changing in the same locker room as other girls is a sure sign that you are being predatory. If you absolutely must attend gym class, either don’t change for gym and fail the class or keep your eyes closed the entire time you are in the locker room.
- Do not look at other girls, ever. This sets back feminism because by looking at girls while being attracted to them you are looking at them with the male gaze.
- Don’t compliment a girl on her looks. Don’t compliment a girl on anything at all because you could be complimenting her in a lesbian way and this is predatory.
- It’s probably best if you never leave the house.